Testimonials

Brian's Testimony

I would like to glorify God as my keeper. My wife left me in 1997 and divorced me in 1999. Because of my biblical convictions the Holy Ghost has kept me celibate through wars of temptations for 11 years. You never know the power of God til you're put through the test and I have been. It has definitely been by no power of my own, so I glorify my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ for keeping me that I may be an example to my three children, who are also born again, and also represent young born again men in the world.

-Brian Spann Durham, NC

Jermaine's Testimony

My life began August 23, 1975. From being one of the poor kids on the block, to becoming a man and giving back to the block...from having an uncle who was a big time drug dealer in DC; to becoming a man and not spending any time in jail accept for the group home joint when I was a kid. I have done some pretty knuckle head things in my time on this earth (i.e. robberies, hanging with the wrong crowds at the wrong times, stealing cars, thinking suicidal thoughts, and more). Some of those things almost cost me my life. But now, I am the one that takes folks under my wing. I'm the one who stops folks from making dumb decisions like I did by being an example of what not to do. I minister to folks in the hood through my testimony.

I been through a lot of stuff in 31 years. I'm not gonna tell my life story but I gotta say a few things because itz amazing. Outta all my bad decisions, I'm still here...God has kept a n*gga safe. Not only am I here but I'm making some changes in my life and the lives of others! God has blessed me so much that I can do nothing but give Him praise.

Back in 1990, I got shot five times. In 1994 I was in a stolen car accident. When I got out of the car and saw the engine sitting on the front seat, I couldn't believe it. I had some head trauma that messed with my memory for some time after that, but I walked away from that accident without a scrape, burn or nothin'. At first, I didn't realize how blessed I truly was; I just thought I was real lucky. Now I know different. Luck had nothing to do with it. GOD DID! I knew that I had to get myself together.. becuz I didnt want to become a statistic.

N2DEEPINC. is a company/band I started. I pray that it Blows All The Way Up! Just watch what I do!! I started my Gospel Go-Go Band in 1993, but I hadn't fully matured in my walk with God, so I was still in the streetz doing me. I played with regular Go-Go bands, but I still made time to work with Gospel artists and groups. I know that is part of why I'm still here. It kept me connected.

I had a plan. After I finished selling weed in the hood, I wanted to take music more seriously. In the year 2000, my daughter was born. Even though that was a blessed time, everything seemed to be falling apart around me. My daughter's mother died 2 months after she was born, I lost my job, and I got kicked outta the house. I felt hopeless and thought about killing myself. I took the clip out of the gun, put it to my head, and proceeded to pull the trigger several times to do a "test run". Guess what? I forgot a bullet was in the chamber. From that moment, I knew for sure that "The Big Man" had a plan for me. That was at least 3 times I know I shoulda been dead, not including all of the bullets I've dodged and unprotected sex I had. I'm alive and HIV-negative! God is real and He is good.

In Closing, Guess What? I've surpassed all the ages that society say YOUNG BLACK MALES that grow up in the hood wouldn't make it to...16 check, 18 check, 21 check, 30 check, and counting. Thank You Father!!! I'm going to keep pushing and striving to be a better man, a better Christian, and make some changes in this world. Letz better ourselves daily, lets get right with GOD becuz the end of the world is near yawl and while we're sitting around enjoying the material things, we're missing out on the truth.

-Jermaine Pendleton

Jearlean's Testimony

Pretty Girl Blues

Was this a label she put on herself or allowed others to give her? Why did she allow herself to hide deep in her pain? She hides behind her pretty looks, clothes, and the truth within. She has outer beauty, but was suffering on the inside with low self-esteem, pity, and unhappiness. Could her beauty cover up her hurt? She desperately wanted to be accepted. Yes, she has a darling personality and nobody could take that away, but was it enough to mend the hurt and internal pain? Her parent's had sacrificed and cared for all her brothers and sisters, but would they anticipate one of their children developing cancer at the age of two.

We are familiar with several types of cancer, but a baby developing this type (Rhabdomyosarcoma) was unheard of. This was such a rare form of cancer the doctors' thought she would not live to celebrate her 3 rd birthday. How could this be and why? Most importantly how would doctor's care for this child? Her care began at the University of Maryland Hospital in Baltimore, but the family was later advised to seek a second opinion at Sloan Kettering Cancer Hospital in New York City. The majority of her childhood and adolescent years are spent in New York City.

At Sloan Kettering she would have many surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation treatments. Because of the cancer, reconstructive surgery was not optional. This procedure would cause her to have a colostomy and ileostomy bag to aid her bladder and bowel function for the rest of her life. Even after that surgeries seem to never stop.

Imagine growing up wearing two bags, being teased and set aside because you can not tell if it is time to change your bags. "Hey what is that smell", they would say. She had incidents in school and when she did not know how to handle these situations it really caused her low self-esteem. She had it bad. Her hearts desire was to be like other children. To be teased by her peers was heart breaking.

Becoming a teenager and maturing into a young adult were difficult years. She later involved herself in boyfriends, but when they got close she would break it off, fearing they would not understand. She had a method of trying to hide "the secret". Someone will understand, she thought. It seem like no one did, what a fool she felt like. Continuing to hide behind her family, friends, and pretty looks, she developed the craft of covering and dressing up the outside. This disease causes her to hide deep in her pain. Questions would arise. How would she cope? How would she handle what life have dealt her? Can she continue to hide "the secret"? So I asked myself, "Why do I feel so blue, and how can I change the way I am feeling".

Surely, there was an answer. I could not imagine, but God would change my life. He healed me from cancer. I am His miracle child. He protected and assured me everything was going to be all right. God not only healed my physical body, but my spirit and mind. That is what needed to be healed desperately. I am thankful for that spiritual process which took place within me. My insecurities did not change overnight, but I learned how to be a survivor. If you never "walked in those shoes", it is really hard to understand.

The question was not "why me", but "Why Not Me". This "secret" would no longer be a secret, but a triumphant story. Trials and tribulations tested my faith, but it made me stronger. God instilled in me an inner strength I thought I did not have. This journey has taught me so much and I will use this experience for my aspirations in life. My situation is unusual in this industry, but I thank God for opening doors that other wise would be shut in my face. To see the outer beauty you could never tell I live with these adversities. After all I have gone through, who would have thought becoming a fashion model, inspirational writer, motivational speaker, and owner of my own modeling company was in the plans for me. But it does not stop, there is so much more to come. I have and will travel abroad. This story may seem personal, but because of my adversities in life I will continue to reach out, encourage, uplift, listen, understand, and help those in need.

My faith and trust in God makes all the difference. I am thankful for my family, friends, and most of all angels that watches over me. Today, at 39 years old I am blessed with a wonderful husband of 12 years that appreciates, understands, and accepts me for me. I will continue to have one-colostomy bag and the use of a self-catheter for the rest of my life. I am very thankful for this journey. I am a Fashion Model, WOW; sometimes I can not believe it. As I look back over my life I would not change anything. My light will continue to shine so others can witness and know they can overcome obstacles. Do not be ashamed or afraid to tell your story because you never know how "blue" someone may feel. I can and will live a full and vibrant life.

-Jearlean Taylor

Tameka's Testimony

Being a true believer, we know that we must go through somethings from time to time as a test of our faith. I always wondered what is it that I may have to go through. I have been praying a lot this year and specifically asking God to have His way in my life no matter the circumstance. I know that GOD knows the limit on what I can bear so I always thought that maybe it wouldn't be something too enormous. Well, I think GOD has shown me the anwser to my questions.

On June 13, 2007, I went to work on my usual day off. It was a stormy day...lots of rain and thunder. As my work day progressed, I got a phone call stating that my apartment may have caught fire after being hit by lightening. I left my job and headed home. While driving I found myself praying, "Lord, please don't let it be me."

Once I arrived, I saw reality with my own eyes...it was my apartment! I broke down. Just the fact of knowing that everything I've worked so hard to get was gone, just like that. I could never have imagined in a million years that anything like that could happen to me. Even during the whole scene, God was testing me. He presented me with people at my leasing office with an I don't care attitude towards me. Even at that moment He allowed me to be in control of my flesh. I asked Him for the strength to be a witness for the Kingdom.

God used this experience to take blinders off my eyes I didn't even know were there. I look at things differently now. Although I lost all the material possesions I'd ever worked for (except for a few pair of shoes that were in the trunk of my car), I had to remember that God allowed me to have those things. He did allow me to keep and maintain some far more important things...my relationship with Him, my family, and friends. I still have my health and my ability to worship Him and that means more than anything else.

-Tameka Williams Lanham, MD