Saved & Fly

Carita Smith

JG. Your latest project www.thefighttolive.org is dedicated to your mother Ida Harper who passed away a few years ago. Tell us about thefighttolive.org and its connection to your mom.

Carita: First of all, TFTL.org originated from the title of my mother’s diary (The Fight To Live – A Diary of Faith, Hope & Love) which is currently undergoing the publishing process. This book is a consolidation of her 1995 – 2004 journals that I refer to as the most intimate love letters of her life. These journals are written in her hands and filled with heart felt words and memories that will uplift and touch your soul. A month prior to her transition into a better place where she awaits the second coming of Christ, she had a strong desire to write a book of inspiration or should I say a living testimony on how the Lord has led her through all of life’s problems; how she looked to Him for direction, guidance, healing, and justice daily. She wanted the world to know how He had never failed her and how He had delivered her from all sorts of perils, rescuing her from the wayward path that she was traveling and guided her into life eternal. Thefighttolive.org was initially designed to launch her Diary, but upon listening and obeying God’s providence, it has now evolved into a median much more special and meaningful. As a result, I am now following the directions of the Holy Spirit with this wonderful project to the fullness of its purpose.

JG. It is wonderful for you to honor her memory in such an informative and educational way. On the site, it has a lot of references to mental and physical approaches to reclaiming a healthy lifestyle. Does this only apply to people with serious illnesses?

Carita: Not, at all. After reading and transcribing my mother's journals, I've concluded that this website will benefit all persons regardless of their nationality, religion, or mental and physical disabilities.

JG. How so?

Carita: This website is a work in progress although its initial inception is primarily based on mental and physical health. There is so much more to come that will include dealing with the co-dependency of physical and emotional abuse, surviving a work environment that challenges your faith, overcoming an unhealthy marriage and divorce, outlining and resolving our hidden prejudices and biases, and the political/worldly issues that we encounter on a daily basis.

At the end of 2002, my mother wrote in her journal that "God works through people and He is no respecter of persons. He is with all people who believe in His Son. He loves all people, all nationalities, all social-economic groups; we are all the same in God's sight. He has love, compassion and pity for all of us, from the so called blue blood (aristocrats) to the untouchable. We are all sinners in need of grace."

JG. Sounds like your mother's words were very well written.

Carita: Yes I agree. As she pursued her dream with great confidence, her counseling sessions dealt with patients who suffered from all types of addictions. She even provided family counseling as well as adolescent therapy which she cherished dearly for Mark 9:36-37 (NIV) says, "He took a little child and had him stand among them (12 disciples). Taking him in his arms, he said to them, Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."

And throughout the challenges of living daily with HIV, Breast Cancer and Diabetes, she had noted on numerous pages that she had come to the realization that her purpose was to help ALL PEOPLE, not just HIV/AIDS patients.

JG. As Christians, we know that prayer is of the utmost importance everyday, especially in times of doubt and dismay. Prayer helps to give balance because we align ourselves to listen and receive from God. Obviously, your mother found journaling very important. In your opinion, how essential is journaling to maintaining a life of balance?

Carita: From what I have come to learn, journaling is essential in obtaining personal and spiritual growth. It will improve our mental, emotional, financial and physical well-being. Journaling reduces stress and enables us to set personal and professional goals. All of these attributes of journaling can be monitored on a daily basis that will help you reach your ultimate best.

In addition to this, journaling is not limited to just a daily account of your life. It can take form in so many different ways. For example, my mother had several different types of journals, such as a food journal, an exercise journal, an inspirational journal, a healing journal, and a multitude of prayer journals.

JG. Now this is interesting. When I think of journaling, I always think of one journal booklet or tablet for everything.

Carita: Well, each person does it differently. My mother's way worked best for her. Having separate journals can help to organize your thoughts by giving them their own space. My most favorite of my mother's journals are her prayer journals. In these journals you can clearly see how the "Prayer of Faith" referenced in James 5 can come to full fruition. The contents of these journals displays the actual prayer request followed by one (or more) of God's 3,573 promises that would apply. And after a day, a month, or even a year or more beneath the recorded promise(s), she noted the actual date and the answer that He had revealed to her.

JG. That's pretty amazing!

Carita: That's God! The true benefit of journaling will ultimately be a treasured keepsake and a living testimony "that All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose (2 Timonty 1:9; KJV)."

JG. I recently lost my father to Cancer. What inspiring words do you have for those out there who are struggling with a serious illness and those who have lost loved ones to these illnesses?

Carita: There is no greater pain, than the pain felt from the loss of a close relative (more personal, a parent, child and sibling) or a good friend. As I ponder over this question and the words that I would emit in response, the thought of my loss brings forth an abundance of grief followed by a replay of our last moments together. In my subconscious state, I can see her beautiful Creole face and within the depths of her green eyes, I see the beauty of her soul and the real purpose for my mother's life.

JG. You just hit a nerve with the green eyes comment. My dad also had green eyes. I'm not going to let you make me cry. {Laughter}

Carita: It's okay...Crying is good for the soul. I too still have my moments, but I can now smile for Nehemiah says, Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

I can only relate to those who have experienced a great loss or are currently going through the process, yet I have the greatest compassion for those who are at this very moment fighting the battle to live. "Jesus has placed us in the boat, the ark of safety on the sea of life. At times the boat is buffeted by the winds and storms of life, adversity, pain, heartache, depression, illness, rejection and poverty. In our fear and faithlessness, we take our eyes off of Jesus and doubt his ability to sustain us."

JG. Very true.

Carita: "We doubt our ability by His grace to weather the storm. In our fears, we have cried out numerous times for God to save us. Jesus is always present. He catches us before we sink and drown under the load of our burdens. He calms the sea of life as no earthly father could ever do. He shows who is all powerful. He is a mighty good God!" When all is bleak, just stand and watch the Lord see you through. God has a purpose and a plan. He will undoubtedly fulfill His purpose and plan. Hebrew 10:23 (NIV) says, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."

In my mother's study on God's Healing Promises, she stated that "God is loving and compassionate. He is touched by our tears. He knows how we feel when we are down and depressed over our lives (health). 3 John 1:2 says that God wants us to prosper and be in health as our soul prospers. The key to physical healings is contingent upon spiritual growth." We tend to allow ourselves to be overwhelmed at times by the magnitude of our financial problems, our health issues, our personal appearance, and our physical and emotional needs. In doing such and becoming depressed over our situation, we have shown a lack of faith in God's love for us and His ability to provide for all our needs and to give us the best possible life.

JG. Amen!

Carita: In her words, she states, "I have often watched from my living room patio door the birds searching for food. To my untrained eyes, I see nothing edible, but the foraging birds find the succulent worms and seeds He has provided for them. Even in winter when the ground is covered with snow and ice they are able to find food."

"A month ago, I had discovered a dead sparrow on the lawn and my mind immediately went to the text (Luke 12:22-28; KJV) where Jesus stated that the Father sees and notes every sparrow that falls and we are of much more value than sparrows. The Father cares and will supply all my needs according to His riches. When the cattle on a 1,000 hills are His and all the gold, why am I fretting when I can come boldly to the throne of God and ask for help in times of need?"

The most powerful words that I can give anyone is this: "In the hour of greatest need, when discouragement would overwhelm the soul, it is then that the watchful eye of Jesus sees that we need His help. The hour of man's necessity is the hour of God's opportunity. When all human support fails, then Jesus comes to aid, and His presence scatters the darkness and lifts the cloud of gloom." (Ellen G. White, Testimonies V. 4, p. 530)

JG. You are a woman of very powerful words, just like your mom! That quote was a perfect pick. Intense, riveting, and dead-on. Thank you for your insight and your vision.

Carita: You are very welcomed.

JG. Looks like you're also an author!

Carita: Yes, I am.

JG. Tell us about your book, "The Greatest Romance Ever Told".

Carita: The Greatest Romance Ever Told is a fictional novel based upon love at first sight and all of the obstacles that proceeds as the focus remain on securing the relationship. It was derived from the heart and soul of true admiration shared between two lovers and filled with poetry that will touch your deepest emotion.

On a more personal note, this book was written during the care of my mother in the last year of her life. Composing this story became a means of journaling; more along the lines of fantasizing {giggle} that allowed me to escape my reality at that time. My mother would watch me from her bed as I sat at her computer in deep thought. She would constantly encourage me to keep on writing and so I did. The manuscript was completed a week prior to her passing.

JG. I'm guessing that had to be bitter-sweet.

Carita: Yes, but only to a certain degree. Miracle of all miracles, The Greatest Romance Ever Told was the beginning of my transformation with this wonderful, blessed gift that I have received from God. As a result of this great blessing and on a gloomy day of grieving, I was led by the Holy Spirit to read my mother's 2003 journal.

JG. Do you mind sharing some of what you read with us?

Carita: On July 14, 2003 when she had begun to fight the battle against Metastasized Breast Cancer, at 11:00 p.m. when I thought she was resting in my son's bedroom, she wrote:

"I guess it is nearing the time for me to go home. Relations with Carita have become strained after she called my doctor today to report I had a rash on my feet, pain and shortness of breath. I asked her not to call my doctor for me. It makes me feel like I'm losing my voice because she is speaking for me."

"I tried to talk to her. It's impossible. She's become obstinate after I explained my point of view. I know she's fearful of what's going to happen to me therefore she chooses not to talk about her feelings to me because she thinks I'm not dealing with the negative. I have already dealt with the negative. There is no reason to dwell on the negative; should I do that I will definitely not survive. I might as well curl up in a fetal position and just wait to die."

"I have no objection with her going to the doctor with me; I just don't want her to lose money taking off. She says she doesn't take leave when she goes with me. So, I said she can meet me at the doctor's. Now she's saying no. She has my permission to call the doctor for his comments about my visits. What I don't need is for her to speak for me. If I'm sick, I am intelligent and have enough voice. I am a very vocal person. I am capable of managing my own illness. I do not intend to lose control of my life just because I am ill."

"So, I see this as an essential need to hurry home where I have total control of my life and the work of recovery. I am sorry that Carita does not seem to understand my need to be in control of my life."

"I love her and I deeply appreciate that she loves me so much and cares so much about my well being. However, I want her to trust the Lord more and believe that I can recover. Unfortunately, her faith is weak."

I was truly saddened by her words because she was so right; however, the next thing that happened just blew my mind. On the following day I received an invitation to be an honored guest at an upcoming fundraiser with the request that I provide words of encouragement in the form of a poem placed on a bookmark. When I inquired about the beneficiary, all I could do was smile and begin reading my mother's journals to learn more about the mindset of women living with this disease.

The Greatest Romance Ever Told was featured in a silent auction that went to benefit The Women Collectives, a non-profit organization primarily focused on Women living with HIV/AIDS and held on October 18, 2005 the 10th Anniversary of my mother's diagnosis of HIV. This profound chain of events has changed my life forever and has initiated The Fight to Live!

"God has a marvelous, miraculous way to reach us!"

JG. Wonderful Carita! Do you have any other books in the works?

Carita: Yes, I am currently mid-way through the sequel of The Greatest Romance Ever Told. In addition, I am also a featured participant in an upcoming book of short stories, poetry and creative works that defy categorization titled, The Gathering Place: Ordinary Women with Extraordinary Lives.

JG. Looks like you have your hand in quite a few projects. What is Sweet Sensuality Unlimited, LLC. and what inspired that name?

Carita: Sweet Sensuality Unlimited, LLC is a work in progress as everything else that I am currently involved in. Its title was derived from my love and passion for Orchids and how the complexities of these simple flowers can arouse your five senses. Back in 2001, I was inspired to write a brief interpretation of sensuality and its affects on our daily lives that were shared over the internet. And from that point on, Sweet Sensuality Unlimited has blossomed into a personal trademark.

Originally, Sweet Sensuality Unlimited was designed to be just a small entity to promote, market and sell The Greatest Romance Ever Told in addition to the poetry that I have written. Prior to implementing TFTL.org, Sweet Sensuality Unlimited has begun to evolve into a consulting business that provides services in Publishing and Web Design.

JG. Do you have a website for this business?

Carita: Yes. www.sweet-sensuality.com.

JG. I'm sure that all of the passionate works you are into are very rewarding for yourself and others. Jesus Groupie wants to know...What else do you have going on? What does Carita Smith do for fun?

Carita: With all the projects that I have noted previously during this interview, there is always something else that will pop up in my mind to do at any given moment. Coming soon to the Products Page on TFTL.org, I will be offering charm and silicone bracelets for purchase with a percentage of the proceeds being donated to the Women Collectives in honor of my mother. In addition to these bracelets, there will also be a selection of blank journals for purchase as well and a free online journal for those who prefer to write at the computer.

I have also entered into a partnership with Vivian Feggans, the Founder of the Writers Remembering Writing Retreat; for women to develop and implement a unique creative writing workshop for women who are battling the fight to live. More details of this exciting opportunity will be announced and incorporated on TFTL.org.

As for what I do for fun when the time permits, I just simply spend those moments with my children doing whatever it is that they want to do on that particular day. It could range from dinner and movie to watching football and basketball all day long on the tube. Other than that, you can always find me lounging on my deck, listening to the birds sing as they fly into the woodland and just relaxing in the serenity of my home with God.

JG. Carita, it has been a true pleasure. Thank you for granting JesusGroupie.com the opportunity to get up close and personal with you. Your feature is going to bless a lot of people.

Carita: Thank you for having me. To God be the Glory.